


Disappointment

by shadesquadvip1



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Closeted Character, Drama, Gay, Love, M/M, Pining, Pregnancy, larry - Freeform, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-29 00:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17193446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesquadvip1/pseuds/shadesquadvip1
Summary: This is an excerpt from a longer short story that I am working on. This would be the opening scene to the rest of the story.





	Disappointment

“I’m- I- I’m sorry Louis, it’s just, I just… I’m pregnant”

Every sliver of fiberglass from Louis’s menthol cut into his throat. He mulled over the past thirty minutes in his head on a loop. He had eased out of the bedroom just after two in the morning. Tripping over loose articles of clothing as he went, remembering how they had all been shed and strewn about the hallway before the two of them had reached the bedroom door. He slid on some pants and pocketed his phone as he searched the living area for his hoodie. He was interrupted by the buzzing of his cell for the fourth time. It was Eleanor from his office she must have been calling about the transaction with Shanghai. He sent it to voicemail and began to gather his cigarettes and dig for some shoes in the closet. It buzzed again and he shook his head it honestly couldn’t be that important. He slipped out the sliding door by the kitchen and effectively sealed off the apartment from the low hum outside. It was late but the streets were full of flickering lights and stumbling couples making their way home from dinner dates and dive bars. He could see the city in the distance, it hadn’t dimmed as it outlined the tall buildings against a starless sky. He packed his cigarettes and lit one inhaling slow. He knew he shouldn’t be smoking but after a night like this one, he would surely be forgiven. His phone buzzed for what seemed like the one hundredth time so he answered slightly irritated. 

“El, honestly what is it? I told you I would be busy on this trip, its almost half two in the morning” 

His edge slightly startled her but she began the conversation with muffled shaky breaths. 

Hours have passed since the call now and daylight is peaking through the sheer curtains in the loft. Louis is pacing around the apartment touching all four corners with each passing round save the bedroom. He can’t bear to even re-enter that place after the news. So he had opted to be greeted with good morning kisses at the kitchen table after preparing a feast. Saying a soft good bye as the chestnut hair had wisped out the door. He’s ducking in and out for cigarettes as the knots in his back tense. Finally, he hears a familiar tone from his cell on the table. Silence envelops the tiny space as he shuts the patio door. His phone won’t recognize his thumbprint from the sweat. His faltering hands grip the phone until his knuckles are a ghostly white. The passcode grants him access, one hundred and twelve unread emails that mean nothing and a picture of a positive pregnancy test that means everything. All the wrenching guilt that has been stewing in his growling stomach for the past year and last few hours bubble together and he’s sure that it’s coming up. He runs toward the sink in the galley kitchen gripping the sides just as the front door kicks open. Warm familiar hands are on his waist, running through his disheveled hair, turning him around, and spitting off questions. 

“What’s wrong? Are you sick? Do you think it was the curry? Is it your head?”

Louis’s vision centers on the tree trunk eyes with honey drenched centers that he’s come to love over the years. 

“N-no.”  
He stammers out.  
“I- I need to tell you something, I-” 

He can barely form words over the desert in the back of his throat. The man he’s loved since he moved in across the street all those years ago looks at him for answers but, he’s blank, as he always is. Difficult to read and impeccable at hiding his emotions and feelings. The other man leads him to a seat on the sofa. Louis almost doesn’t feel his body meet the cushion. Concerned now the other man heads back toward the kitchen calling out 

“I’m making you a drink… whiskey alright?” 

The lack of response prickles the man’s insides and he begins unfavorable preparation. He returns to the sofa and sets the glasses down on the table. He’s perched next to Louis with an array of thoughts pouring through his mind when Louis finally speaks up. 

“uh- I... um… you remember El my assistant? Well, um she’s pregnant… and I’m pretty positive it’s mine…” 

The space between them grows increasingly smaller and tighter around the other man’s throat choking every ounce of hope he’d had that after yesterday things would be okay. 

“what…?” 

The words come out as a plume of dust dying on his lips but Louis hears it loud and clear. 

It was two days ago that Louis had stepped off the plane at LaGuardia swearing to himself that he would make things right. He had gotten an invite to an art gallery showing from a man he knew through the family business. Harry’s art was the main display, and the sign that Louis needed. At least that is what he was chalking it up to. A part of his heart ached when he learned that the artist wouldn’t be attending the gallery, but it flipped backwards when he saw the chocolate curls a few feet away. He was a few mimosas into the showing and there was no longer a question looming on weather or not he was truly in love with Harry. Although for him there never really was. He downed the drink in his hand and headed over to him at once. He spun him around and crashed their lips together without hesitation.  
Yesterday, Louis thought that he was finally succeeding at getting things right between himself and Harry as he laid in the canopy bed and recalled the previous complications that haunted their relationship. Five years ago he had fallen in love with Harry, the boy from across the street. It was practically like attending a twenty-four seven funeral because of the suffocation and secrets. They hid things for as long as they could. But, Louis was set to inherit his family’s business as soon as his finished his education and anything that endangered that and put his family’s reputation at risk was non negotiable. So Harry waited for Louis despite his urge to go to art school in Manhattan. Louis continued to make empty promises and they only got worse as he began to run the company. Missing dinners, forgetting birthdays, and drowning in work was too much for Harry and without a word vacated his house and left for the city.  
It had been almost two years to the day since Harry left and every day Louis had ached and been miserable. He didn’t enjoy running the company and the constant onslaught of rich people presenting their daughters to him made him sick. He regretted nothing more than Harry leaving but, that didn’t stop him from attending high end parties and sleeping with women. Despite all his efforts to save face for his family his inability to cope with the closeting and the loss of Harry had turned him into someone with a reputation for egregious drinking and partying. He was a disappointment and El was, as he liked to call her, his last mistake on a night where he was beyond lonely.  
The problem was convincing Harry that El was a mistake and that the past two days full of kissing, sex, and serious conversations had meant something. He had to make Harry understand that they were real and that he meant every word. That he wouldn’t just jet back home and ignore phone calls and refuse to be seen with him in public. He had to show him that aspect of his life was over. Louis just wanted to be with him, he was done playing games and he wasn’t going to hide anymore. 

“Harry... I- I really don’t know what to say, I promise you it was an accident.” 

“when… when did this happen? How?” 

Harry’s face twists and turns in the way it does before he’s about to cry. Louis reaches out for him but he pulls back waiting for the answer. 

“I-I don’t know” 

“You don’t know? Jesus Louis how many times did you sleep with her? 

He’s up now pacing around the small area his skin turning red. Louis retreats into the cushion as far as he’s able. He looks down at his hands that are trembling with each uneven breath. 

“I- I only slept with her once…” 

“Well then you damn well know when it happened.”

Harry is reduced to wailing and snotty sniffles. He sinks down into the couch alongside Louis and cries into his massive hands. 

“I just- I don’t understand you Louis… what is this? It’s been six years since we met you know? Six years and I’ve always had feelings for you. You knew that I loved you and I waited for you to grow up and I waited for you to stop being a coward and to tell everyone like you always said you would. I postponed coming to New York and stayed in that shit hole of a town with you but I was always your secret! And finally… finally you have the guts to come up here and see me after not speaking to me for two years. You had the nerve to touch me like you did… all the while having some girl back at home who doesn’t even get you hard. How’d you do it huh? How’d you even get hard? Did you think about me? Maybe popped a Viagra? I let you back in Louis I let you back in here and into my life no question. You know why? Because I thought that after two fucking years you finally figured your shit out. I thought maybe now you loved me. Maybe now you aren’t ashamed of me but-” 

He’s hysterical, partly screaming, partly choking back sobs, and partly whispering in defeat. Louis cuts him off and kneels beside him on the floor. He pries Harry’s hands away from his face and wipes away some tears. 

“No, no please, just… let me explain… please I know you have every right to never speak to me again, to make me leave and forget all about me. Just wait.. I- El happened a few months before I came here. I shouldn’t have… I know that… but we were drunk and I missed you and it was a terrible day. Every day was a terrible day and I missed you every day and I am so sorry that this has happened. I don’t know how to fix it yet... I really don’t. But I swear to you Harry I swear that this was it for me. I’m here aren’t I? I want this. I don’t care about my father or the company or the stupid people in town. If they want to tank the company because I love you, well then they will just have to try. The past two years have been absolute shit without you. Please, just listen to me, please…” 

Harry has slowed his breaths now and the snot that had dripped down his shirt has become crusty. He can’t breathe through his nose and his eyes are burning. He doesn’t say a word. He rises from the couch and looks down at Louis. He turns and walks towards the bedroom, Louis follows behind timidly unsure of if he’s said to much. He stops a few feet back as Harry leans against the door, forehead pressed against the cold wood. Harry speaks softly now as if he’s ran a marathon in the cold making his throat sore and achy. 

“You’re right Louis you shouldn’t have. I- I can’t Louis…It’s too much… this, I can’t…you can get your things, leave please.” 

He begins to cross the threshold. 

“Harry don’t please just wait.”

He stops and faces Louis. 

“No Louis… you don’t get to ask me to wait anymore… I’ve done enough of that over the past five years for the both of us. I loved you, you know and I’ve never regretted it from the moment I met you but right now I wish I hadn’t fallen in love with such a huge disappointment.”


End file.
